You too should know the sorrow of losing that you wanted to protect

Man tends to think of the past when they are about to die,
as if searching for proof that they had ever been alive.

We shall take a moment of awkward silence for someone I should have got to know better and could no longer do. Life is fragile.

Staying over with me was a bad idea. It's not like I didn't try to make her leave, but everytime I confronted her, she would avoid me. And then the inevitable happened. A freak accident, one in a million chance and it had to take place. Was at the wrong place at the wrong time, a sudden gust of wind and the door slammed.

No, we don't talk to each other, but afterall she was the only one that lived here with me for the last few weeks. And No, no one deserves such a fate!

Don't know if I should be grateful or sorry that I wasn't around. It would have torn me apart, yet I should have been there by her side during the final moments.

I only saw it this afternoon. Opened the door and noticed something sticking where it shouldn't be. When she didn't respond, I knew it was bad, real bad.

At least it must have been quick. It had to be! There was no sign of a struggle, maybe she didn't even knew what hit her, let us take comfort in that.

Wish I treated her better when I had the chance...



Hide all

See how we run like pigs from a gun, see how we fly

As all foot soldiers have known for thousands of years,
there's nothing noble about dying.
Only an irritating finality

Written in reversed chronological order through the day:

- Slept well, the sleep of the dead.
- Finally gone to rest at 3am
- Exhausted, but for the first time feels truly alive today.
- Went for a 10km run. Finished in 1hr 2mins. Accelerated metabolism caused effects of alcohol to end much earlier than it normally would.
- Curious to attempt running under the influence of alcohol
- Reached home at 12:40am
- Lots of booze, rather high.
- Potluck at Momo's place (with Tans and Foo family). Received nutrition and mental comfort. Morale somewhat restored.
- After 1hr 40mins trip, arrived at Ghim Moh looking like a zombie.
- Embarked on the long trip to Momo's place. Completely, mentally "zoned-out" from the long day, and the mind-numbing inefficiency of our public transport systems. No longer felt hunger or fatique, just numbed.
- Felt the need to catch up on training, did a rushed 40x6 dips routine before shower.
- No time left for any of the house work I had intended to do.
- Finally reached home at 6.30pm, mind totally numbed.
- Took 1hr+ just to reach home after Raj dropped me from Defu Lane.
- At a coffeeshop with Raj, hungry but only consumed soup because dinner time was near.
- Left office approx. 3.30pm. Been working non-stop for 7hrs. Missed lunch, fatigued, hungry, hands shaking, body trembling, extremely sour mood, less capable of rational thoughts.
- Skipped canteen breakfast to start work early. Expect difficult day since only me and Raj working.
- Revived at 6.30am

THE BEATLES - I AM THE WALRUS

Tiger 1.5litres Beer Tower Dispenser

Got my very own tower dispenser. Came free with 4 x Tiger 6packs.
Perfect to go along with my new Double walled glasses.

Short review
A slight letdown compared to the promotion adverb. Looks and feels like a cheap scaled down mimic of the typical towers found in pubs.

CLICK ON PICTURE FOR FULL VIEW

Pros:
- Smaller capacity easier to fulfill for home parties
- May double as a drinking water dispenser.
- Includes central cooling tube that may be filled with water and freezed to help maintain beverage temperature.

Cons:
- Tap is too low, requiring drinkers to use short glasses, or to tilt their beer glass while refilling.
- A hassle to clean.

we must dispense with our preconceptions of family

Momo, 老爷，夫人, and Elaine threw me a birthday dinner. At Parkway Bottles & bottles. Really enjoyed myself. Thank You Guys for making this year so memorable!

They even bought me a pair of the double walled glasses which I always wanted.

PAVANI 15OZ Double Walled Glass

Adversity may make us stronger, but it does not make us happier.

Since mother is visiting Father, I'd have to handle my own household chores.
Since mother is extending her trip, I'd have to do more chores for longer.
Since mother left the refrigerator stocked with so much food, I'd have to take time to cook before they spoil.
Its taking all my time. N'uff said, back to work.

For the first time ever, made my own lunch and brought to work.
Fried rice with Shitake Mushroom. Seriously, it was good.



After the Bake rice research is successful, will post about it too.

Dilbert - Try Rebooting Yourself

No problem. I have an infinite capacity to do more work, as long as you don't mind that my quality approaches zero
http://timf.anansi-web.com/serendipity/uploads/misc/dilbert2005016279916.gif

PEOPLE SAY THE GLASS IS HALF FULL. BUT THEY DONT SAY OF WHAT
http://books.google.com.sg/books?id=0qmO19BnQk8C&pg=PA46&lpg=PA46&dq=dilbert+%22PEOPLE+SAY+THE+GLASS+IS+HALF+FULL%22&source=web&ots=xdbjYMIvtI&sig=qdsaC03ZJBPRdEudB2DIsnXHWmI&hl=en

Discworld - Ankh-Morpork

Ankh-Morpork
...One legend has it that if danger ever threatens the city, the eight stone hippopotami guarding the Brass Bridge will come to life and run away.

...Another legend claims that many centuries ago, the Disc flooded. An ark was constructed, containing two of every animal. When the accumulated dung of forty days and nights was dropped over the side, they called it Ankh-Morpork.

Adidas Sundown Marathon - Part 6 Epilogue

A deserving painful ending to a balantly arrogant endeavor. Completion is not necessary a victory, particularly so when my timing was so bad. Awkwardly (for lack of a better term) this had not made me any humbler. It has only served to emphasize that is is a world without limitations. There are more different challenges than a man can overcome in one lifetime, but we do grow stronger with each one.

At this point, I've decided not to do marathons on a regular basis, as the wear and tear on the body isn't quite worthwhile. But I might still participate once in a while. Had been a very long time since I was last driven to such extreme limits and that was refreshing. Now its time to move on to other trainings.

Post Marathon Diary
Day 0
Short nap and celebration chill out with the Tan Families* at Novena.
Consumed my first 500ml of beer. Hallucinations begun to dispel.
Limped like a zombie, and they mocked me by firing imaginary projectiles at me each time I shuffled to and fro the toilet.

Day 1
Took MC to rest. Was lucky I did, or I would end up like one of them.
Doctor childed me for doing a marathon so unprepared.
Mostly sleep. Regeneration.

Day 2
Back to work.
Honked by car for crossing road too slowly.
Heart warming to have the concern of so many colleague-friends.
Stayed late to work on my research project. An extremely frustratingly long 2hrs trip home (owning to @ucked-up off peak bus schedule, inefficient routing, x4 bus connections, and ridiculously long wait times between each ride.) Further morale drain having to do own household chores**

Day3
Still limping. Now that most of the dominate muscle/joint aches has eased, a very bad right ankle sprain becomes obvious. This would take more time to heal. Wondered how I kept going with such a bad injury. Probably didn't feel it at the time because of the fatigue and the adrenalin.


*老爷，夫人，Heng, Momo
**Mother has gone to visit Father for a week

Adidas Sundown Marathon - Part 5 Completed

My first marathon is completed. Am alive but definitely not kicking. Can hardly move.

Unlike some lighter races, a marathon conducted at midnight attracts no casual novice. Its full of serious runners, and I fall under the newbie category clocking in a below average timing.

Preliminary Results :

Rank 2180 (out of 6100+)
Bib No. 7114
Name Karmen LAI
End Timing 06:57:50.52
20KM 02:47:51
30KM 04:46:14

On the whole, timing was much worse than my training records, but still glad to be able to finish without scumbering to injuries.

The route was divided into 4 segments (titled in red). Below is a log of the experience.

"String of lights"
Nicoll Drive (SAF Ferry Terminal, ALPS)
Starting Line - where's the darn toilet?
Arrived late and there were much confusion, eventually located 夫人who have finished the 10km event. Was still doing my warm up stretch 10mins after flag off

1st 5km - the start of it all
老爷 has already ran off, Wei Khyuan has decided to join after competing his 10km in an impressive 50mins. Meanwhile Kelvin has gone off separately to join his friends. Kicked off with the 8/1 min - run/walk exactly the way I trained. Believe I can pull this off. Adidas support staffs positioned at intervals to cheer runners on.

Changi Coast Road (Changi Airport)
Changi Coast Walk (Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal)
8 km - The stars kiss the sky
Crowds tapered off to a smooth pace, beautiful cloudless skies, pleasant weather. Ridiculous unfounded sense of pride when passing by Expeditors office. Felt a rush as planes took off while we ran along the airport runway. Continued to search in vain for Eric and WK

10km - Where the hell am I?
Never been to Changi coast walk before. Completely unfamiliar with this stretch.

East Coast Park Service Road (Safra Resort)
12 km - Reinforcements have arrived
Manged to establish communications and rendezvous. Had unknowingly overtook them and is about 2km ahead.

East Coast Lagoon (East Coast Park, Bedok Jetty, Big Splash)
21km - Midpoint milestone
Beginning to feel the first hint of emerging joint aches and muscle cramps, but still managing a fair pace. Clearing the halfway point was lifting, not to mention have already exceeded my furthest record. We are now in new territory.

"Heartland Twist"
Siglap Park Connetor (Victorial JC, Eunos, Kembangan MRT)
27km - No surrender!
Tired, but we bravely pushed on. Gradually increased the walk breaks.

"Waterfront Trail"
Bedok Reservoir (老爷's place)
29km - Pit stop.
夫人was there with food and cold drinks. Much needed break. WK needed a pillow and I wanted a beer.

Tampines Ave 9 (Tampines Fire Station)
30km Approx. 4am - Endless waltz
This was the most boring stretch. Undeniable, oppressive fatigue sets in. Feeling not unlike a vehicle whose engine is serviceable but components demand replacement.
Run/walk unsustainable, degraded to awkward hop/walk/crawl.
Very touched to see SGrunners volunteer support team handling out treats (contributed from their pockets). Number of fellow runners have noticeably thinned out. Either they're mostly way ahead or have already given up. Saw some of them hailing a cab. One crazy Adidas support staff screaming like an army instructor, and got blasted by runners.
WK still going strong, became sleepy and left us to blast off the final 12km. 老爷 bravely tried a painful slow jog, but gave up shortly since it made no difference from our walking speed. Kelvin informed us he has gave up and is on his way home.

"Homerun"
Pasir Ris Drive 3 (White Sands)
32km - The demon within emerges
Motivated seeing WK go, abandoned 老爷 at this point to try and catch up. Somehow found frightening new strength and a strange anger at nothing in particular. As if possessed, started alternating between very fast march, and a limping sprint on my good leg. Literally 'walked' passed many who were actually jogging.

37km - Blood and thunder
The last 5km! Started to rain heavily. Wet, body numbed, immune to pain and any ability to reason now, continued to drag on , disregarding the weak cowering in bus shelters. Simply desperate to finish it once and for all.

Loyang Ave
Netheravon Road (Changi Beach Club Complex)
Last 4km - Imaginary frog warns me this road leads to heaven Never knew 4km can be this long. This stretch seemed endless. Even the support staff have become too tired to shout encouragements. Pain has returned, could barely limp, madness gave way to regret - regret of coming. Started seeing mirages of Changi Village at every next bus stop, and every bend. Tempted to just hop into a bus and go home, but the walking 2-meter ice cold jug spoke to me and encouraged me.

Changi Village
Finish Line - This is Sparta!
Sight of the finish gantry was the cue. All senses overridden by the collective excitement! Like a berserker now, total disregard for injuries, (or whether it was another hallucination) I sprinted. Runners encouraged one another. 夫人 and WK at spectator point waving. Blasted through the finish line, and no doubt seriously aggravating the injuries.

The long way of drums - Its over, like a drug, the high wears off. Very painfully hobbled along finisher's line, collected finisher Tee, and medal. Very painfully and very slowly walked over to meet them.

PHOTOS
My personal Number Bib

Finisher Medal

84km Finisher Tee

老爷's PHOTOS LINK