Dec2008 Year End Debrief - Of course justice exists¸ to those who can afford it.

Missing inner Heat, life gets colder

If this was already the year end, I'd like to close it as the Year of Infidelity Awareness. Its really all around me, except I didn't noticed, until now. Its hard not have one's perspective shaken, after seeing so many families breaking up for the better, and those that (stupidly) decided not to.

There's simply no excuse for selfish philandering spouses, dominating abusive partners, emotional blackmail, exercising bondage through financial dependency. Just because everyone else accepts it, doesn't mean I have to.

*** DELETE ***

On the flip-side, it makes me wonder, if I'll too become the man I hate.
After I reach and exceed that level.

its easy to tell right from wrong when we're younger,
as we grow older its difficult.
The villains and heros get all mixed up.
- Extract from 'Quantum Of Solace'

陳奕迅-聖誕結

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r6FPEghwFc




Merry merry christmas,
lonely lonely christmas...

Of Monkeys and Bananas

A visitor saw the circus master using a dice to decide which monkey will get more bananas. The visitor was shocked and said "you can't decide this way, its not fair!"
To which the circus master replied "No Sir, I'm not trying to decide, I've already decided."
"Then what are you doing?"
"I'm just double checking if my decisions are correct"

The Tao of Jeet June Do - Conditioning

Extracted from The Tao of Jeet June Do

= Conditioning =

Conditioning is a process whereby a specific stimulus will cause a specific reaction. A repeated stimulus eventually creates an action pattern in the nervous system. Once this pattern is established, the mere presence of the stimulus will cause the specific action. Such action is instantaneous and almost unconscious, which is necessary for effective countering. Conditioned action should be the result of intense and concentrated practise of planned action pattern in response to every lead.

The Zombie Survival Guide

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-yPwXTgFns&feature=related

In the event of an outbreak, it would be wise to familiarize yourself on the differences between "insanity" and "emo" behavior.

It could save your life

Like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

"And achieve what?!"
- Retortical question of the month

I needed a break very badly...
Went on a weekend retreat to Pulau Bintang with my Army pals. Amidst the endless mutual bullshit and fun under the sun, was a merciful respite from the hectic pace of life and a chance for undisturbed reflection (even while getting tossed around by 6ft tall waves)

Still had not been able to pick myself up, and was feeling really lousy lately.

Using an old analytical technique, I took a step back and observed from a 3rd person perspective.

It wasn't a pretty sight.
To put it bluntly, I had absolutely no idea wtf I was trying to do during the past few months. what a mess.
Was running my life with as much directions as a beheaded chicken. Sure, I tried hard in everything I did, but to achieve what? I could not answer.

Work was a hell of a rat race.
Stepping up on training somehow only resulted in piling up injuries.
Drinking created unnecessary health concerns.
Ever increasing relapse of the chronic Introvert nature affecting my social life
Family fallout.
And I won't even touch on the emo shit

I screwed up.
At this rate, I was fast becoming a close resemblance to a punching bag.

Although I didn't find any answers by the end of the trip, I did at least got a little closer. And begun coming to terms with reality. Things are becoming clearer and less surreal now.

"Emotion clouds observation"

Defiance

Oh yes I have to find my path,
no less walk on earth, water and fire

Only two drugs work for me now. 1. Alcohol and 2. Extreme Workouts.
Since I promised my doctor that I'll quit drinking* that leaves Extreme workouts.

I intend to make my negative energy work for me by re-directing them into physical training. Safely and constructively this time**
Will conduct a renewed exercise of self-discipline, with the goal of regaining my weaken fitness and to bring myself to new limits.

This is my show of defiance against the recent series of mis-events thrown at me.

*That is a story for another time
**Not like back then when I nearly killed myself... which is also a story for another time