boldly took up the challenge... and sucked.
We are filled with the power of bananas!
Arriving early with the Ang Mo Kio pickup bus, I sat around and consumed my breakfast of six sorry looking bananas. 'Naturally' I waited until it was really crowded before joining the long queue for the WC. Unable to shed off the curse of having to start every race late, I finished my business and attempted to catch up with 老爷.
The race begun with the Trail. It was a complete disaster. Mistaking one runner after another for 老爷, I wrecklessly bounded left and right like a disoriented kangaroo. The first 20mins or so was an intense challenge for me, in not tripping over the uneven dirt track, while fellow runners try not to trip over me.
The Cheer Leaders
This event is supported by teams of what appears to be boys from secondary school uniform groups. Armed with naive enthusiasm, a bright promising future, and more than enough free Sunday mornings to waste for volunteering in random sports events to earn a few CCA brownie points, these kids filled the unenviable role of standing by the roadside and pretending to be concerned for half dead running strangers.
没有工捞，也有苦捞
As if the humbling marathon lesson was not enough, I soon had a dejavour of seeing the same people overtake me repeatedly whenever I slowed down. They came in all demographies: young colleague girls; army boys; ice-cream stall uncles; grunting ang mohs; fire-extinguisher salesmen etc. But one thing was common - They Never Tire!
I refrained from asking if any of them were coincidentally related to the Energizer Bunny and wisely saved what's left of my breath and my dignity for the race.
In an entry level (10km) event, there are usually enough novices and quitters around to fuel me with a false sense of superiority.
But this was an intermediate tier, some treat it as training for heavier events, some take it for the greater challenge.
I am probably that 'greater challenge' - a slow but erratic moving obstacle that refuses to keep to any lane, and despite the best efforts, fail miserably not to be a safety hazard.
Revenge!
The Beach was the segment I was looking forward to! Tormented by the humiliation 2 years ago on the treacherous sands of Sentosa, I screamed for vengeance and charged the sandy slopes with everything I had.
5 mins later, regardless of all the heroism, it became painfully obvious that mimicking a hardworking dung beetle will not get me very far. I switched to the only other strategy I knew...
Along with countless other like minded enterprising 'uncles' we overran the barriers and left the track to take advantage of the firmer terrain beyond the beach boundaries. The outnumbered Marshall's helpless protests soon turn into horrified squeals against the very real possibility of getting stampeded by the numberless mass of slow moving, sweaty, obessed and mindless bodies. (that will teach them to get in my way!)
Who says cheating isn't a strategy.
Thank God this is not a Marathon!
It must have been a hundred degree celsius.
Towards the end, there was a 2km stretch of straight and unshaded (Aviation Park) road. This was truly the killer stretch! the horizon was too far to spot and the surroundings barren and monotonous. One could be forgiven for mistaking as road dividers, those poor students, who were spaced evenly along the road center and then left to bake.
To cope with the heat, everyone slowed to a uniformed pace. Most entered a trance like state. When viewed from the correct perspective, the scene was not unlike that of a giant conveyor belt, carrying dough through an industrial confectionery toaster.
I silently cursed my imaginary friend the Talking Beer Tower for disappearing at the time I needed him most, and continued.
The rest of the way was dotted with misleading sharp turns. Cruelly designed to give false hopes, these turns appear (from a distance) like they lead straight to the end point, only to taper off viciously to yet another U-turn.
Eventually crossed the real finishing line (after checking that it was neither a mirage nor a mass delusion).
=== Results ===
15 KM Trail/Road/Sand
Myself >1:35:28
老爷 >1:35:17
WK >1:16:42
Talking Beer Tower >Disqualified for disappearing
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